I cannot describe the last two and a half months. It was a nightmare.
A hollow swirling pit of misery I couldn’t escape from by myself.
I felt like a madman. A desperate fool at the end of her pitiful rope.
Being out of a job had brought me to places my smile felt awkward and uncomfortable.
I hated meeting people because every single time they only had these questions:
“So you still bumming around?”
“So what do you do all day?”
“What do you mean you can’t come because you’re busy? Busy with what? All your grape-ing?”
I put my entire life on hold because I felt that without a job, I was stuck and too guilty to have fun.
That being said, the rumour is true, yes, last week I got offered a job at a respectable office.
I never realized how much I needed a job until I was jobless.
I never realized how affected I was by the very fact I was sitting so useless at home.
Not that I didn’t have previous offers. But I was so gosh darn picky. About everything. The location of the jobs that were offered to me. The wages. The job description. Nothing was good enough for me because I insisted on only taking the best. I refused to repeat the mistake of taking the wrong job. But it was that attitude that kept me unemployed and honestly, if I could do things differently, I would’ve practiced what I preached and just trusted God that He had the best plan for me. Then I would’ve spent less time worrying, less time mucking around and more time enjoying my time off wisely.
Sumi, if you ever some to a place where you regret taking this job. Remember what Annai prayed for you:
Dear Jesus, even in such a bad economy and so many unemployed graduates, thank You for blessing my sister with a job. You are so good to this family.
Sometimes I’m so blinded by my selfishness, I fail to see God flailing His arms at me telling me to focus.
Yes, I wanted the perfect job. No I wasn’t ready to pay my dues. I’d like to believe I am now.
God, I am so thankful I am blessed with a job. I believe if I give my best, and choose to honour you in everything I do, You will lead me in the best path.
Note to self:
Even if it means you have to walk further, please stop parking in reserved parking lots, your car will be clamped.
And if you speed, you will get fined.
Batting your eyelashes will only work once. Don’t push it.
Thinking of: Stevie Wonder’s Part Time Lover, Romeo and his Philippino accent, how the universe just doesn’t want me to watch Transformers, Quincy Jones’ Ai No Corrida, how I wish I could cry on cue, Amy Winehouse’s untimely demise, why are you torturing me with your smile, how karma’s an unforgiving b**** and how I think I may have Anatidaephobia O_O.