A frozen sculpture of latent anger and resentment *edited*

Two questions posed to me recently really bothered me. But not as much as how I answered them:

1. Is there someone you find hard to love? If so, why do you find it difficult?

Yes, there is. One. Because he is an ass. And God would understand if He met this guy who happens to be a pimple on the face that is my life.

2. What practical things can you do to demonstrate love towards the person you find difficult to love?

I would physically hurt him, which is a step up from what I originally wanted to do. Or I would stay far, far away. Even if I don’t love him, at least I won’t fester the hate.

Answering the questions the way I did really showed me how bitter I was towards this one person. I became someone harbouring feelings I never thought I would have and all I could think about was how I didn’t want to be in this place; a place where I had crossed over from bridling to bitterness without even knowing it.

So I set out to find this root of bitterness, understand it and defeat it before it had a chance to creep into my grave.

My Bitter Quest

Bitterness is a natural result of learning the hard way that you ain’t all that. Anonymous

I knew I was poisoned with bitterness when I found myself remembering everything in detail; The time of offense, the place, the offender, the offense, etc… you get the idea.

It seemed as if I didn’t want to forget what had happened; like I enjoyed it eating me from the inside out; like I couldn’t, no, wouldn’t allow myself to forget what had happened but instead held on. And after all that time I spent dwelling on it, I may have well exaggerated it to be worse than what it actually was.

I keep asking myself, “How did I end up here?”. I believe it all began because he hurt me and didn’t say sorry =(
Bitterness leaves a stain that cannot be wiped away easily.

Michael Raj

The bitterness made it impossible for me to learn to love this guy. In fact, it was easier to forgive and forget than for me to forgive and love him.

And I wanted to love him. For one very important reason:

Whoever does not love does not know God, because

God is love.

1 John 4:8

I wanted to cut that rotting part of me out. I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to be different. I know the right answers, the spiritual way, the moral methods to becoming a bitter-less person:

1) Admit that you have ill-will towards the offender.
2) Acknowledge that bitterness isn’t the sin of the offender but a result of what you chose to do with the offense.
3) Deal with:
(a) the person by apologising for harbouring that resentment and/or
(b) God by confessing and asking Him to liberate you from the shackles that keep you from moving forward. After all:

He whom the Son sets free is free indeed. John 8:36
But sometimes it’s easier said than done. Oh well, one day at a time…
Thinking of: I don’t wanna miss a thing by Aerosmith and Armageddon.

11 thoughts on “A frozen sculpture of latent anger and resentment *edited*

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