Accounting for Decision Makers

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

As I remember this poem from my literature studies in high school, I find myself questioning it’s importance. Decisions; I mean. As a Christian, being called to make Christ-like decisions is drilled into your head in Sunday School.

 Be a man, do the right thing.

What would Jesus do?

Thus I learned that there were two main philosophies in life people chose from:

1. You only live once, do whatever you want.

Or

2. You only live once, do it right.

Sometimes what I want isn’t always right, moral, Christian and upstanding. Sometimes I desire the immoral, the demonic and what some  people might call  less-than-human. Sometimes my angel won’t make nice with my devil.  

When I was 7, it was easy to side with the angel. Life was clear cut. Black. White.

As I grow older life is still black and white but my vision gets a little blurry. Suddenly I see more gray areas. Suddenly it’s harder to say “No”. Suddenly the devil seems a little louder, a little stronger, a little more attractive. 

There’s a reason why the road less travelled is, well, less travelled. It is full of thickets, thorns and thistles. My walk on this path is starting to cost me. I have scratches everywhere. My feet blister. I’m bleeding more often. I want to turn back. I don’t see the relief those who came this way speak of. If anything, my salvation seems further.

I gotta ask myself; “Why am I doing this again?”

Fear?

Obedience?

Love?

Familiarity?

Guilt?

I know no other way?

In Your defense, You never promised me a ray of light. You never promised there’d be sushine everyday.

In this world you will have trouble- John 16:33

I never signed up for this.

I will show him how much he must suffer for My name- Acts 9:16

Damn. Should’ve read the fine print.

Now that I know the primal cognitive dissonance stirring in my bowels is just the beginning of what life will put me through simply because I have chosen You, would You let me out of this contract so I can runaway from this path?

I consider that [your] present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed. The moment [you] get tired in the waiting, [I’m] right alongside helping [you]. If [you] don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter.  [I] know [you] far better than [you] know [yourself]. [I] knew what [I] was doing from the very beginning. That’s why [you] can be so sure that every detail in [your] life of love for [Me] is worked into something good. -Romans 8:18-30

Sigh.

Two roads diverged in the path and I-

I shall take the one less travelled by…

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