2 uncorrelated occurences happened to me this week.
I got caught telling the truth and I got caught telling a lie.
Let me explain the truth part. I was given information. And I may have released that information to the wrong person. In my defense I did not know it was a secret.
Note to self: Always check if information can be divulged and forgotsakes’ please stop eavesdropping in the office.
The lie? Well okay it wasn’t technically a lie. More of a deception for personal gain.
Call it kismet or karma or just plain stupidity, but the feeling I experienced when I got caught was far worse than the feeling while I was executing the act itself.
I didn’t feel bad when I was “sharing” the information I had or when I was telling a lie. But the moment I was confronted with what I had done, I was hit with the most horrible pang of worthlessness because I looked in the mirror and saw an ugly snake.
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
So I’m thinking: Screwed if I tell the truth. Screwed if I lie. This must be why God said it’s better to listen than speak -_-
It’s hard to define the lines between truth and lies.I suppose discernment comes in strongly at this point. Kinda like the movie The Invention of Lying; just because you have the whole truth, does not give you the permission spread it foolishly. And it’s always better to face the music than to lie to get yourself out of hot water.
This is why today marks an important day. Today is the day I stop lying.
Then again, maybe it isn’t the lie itself, but that people have found out you were lying. There’s a difference between you looking in the mirror seeing a snake and someone else figuring out who you are. As if someone else has taken a peek at the mirror and seen your scales. Maybe I should start trying harder to cover my scales.
Thinking of: Green AberCrombie&Fitch jackets and brown Havanas slippers.