Corn, Fish, Snow and Dandruff.

Have you ever made plans with someone only to spend the better half of your time thinking up excuses to cancel those plans?

If you suffer from this disease, you’re known as a Flake. In Malaysia people label you as an FFK(Fong Fei Kei)-er. It simply means people who earn a reputation as someone who makes plans and cancels on others who are waiting and/or depending on them, usually at the last minute.

It’s, obviously, not a pretty term but I suffer a little from this disease. Actually I shouldn’t say disease, it’s more of a mental disorder.

This is how it works for me:

I have a date with a friend for Saturday. On Friday night, the most used part of my brain, the Excuses Lobe, starts scanning in my search engine, Smoogle (Sumi’s Google, duh), for excuses that I can tell said friend to make cancellation feasible. Now, during this time, a heated argument between my conscience and my flake-idity begin.

My conscience shoots down every excuse I pull out, turning the guilt mode on full throttle.

My flake-side starts arguing on behalf of all the reasons why I would be better off cancelling the date.

This usually goes on for the rest of the night till one hour before I have to leave  for the date. That hour is usually the deciding hour.

Sometimes my conscience wins and I end up keeping my promise.

Sometimes I flake.

Today, I really didn’t want to go for cellgroup almost flaked.

I wanted to sit at home, wallow in self-pity and watch my One Tree Hill. 6 hours before I had to leave the debate started.

Conscience: “Don’t even think about skipping.”

Flake-side: “If I stayed home, I can exercise, practice dancing, PRAY, worship God, read the bible, watch the rest of One Tree Hill, spend time with my parents.”

Conscience: “Wtvla Flaky McFlaker. That’s bullsh**. We both know you’re not going to do any of those things. Except watch One Tree Hill. Be a man, Sumi. Do the right thing.”

Be a man, Sumi.

At 8:00 pm, I grabbed my car keys and ran out the door.

There’s 3 reasons I decided not to flake today:

1) Because 4 months ago, a church member told me I was her role model.

2) Because I made a commitment 5 months ago to build my church and Cellgroup.

3) Because I get flaked on and what I really get from people who stand me up is:

Moment of truth: Flaking isn’t a disorder. It’s a choice.

The day I decided to learn to be a leader, that should mean dying to old habits that stop me from touching lives, and choosing to put a higher cause above my own insecurities.

Building church requires effort, loyalty and most importantly faithfulness to the cause which I have signed my blood to.

God is faithful (reliable, trustworthy, and therefore ever true to His promise, and He can be depended on).

1 Chorinthians 1:9

Guess if I strive to be like God, I must bring my body, my thoughts and my feelings of inadequacy to submission to take on His character.

I’m learning that the only way to overcome this struggle is to, well, grow up and be responsible. Or

Just get out of the house, Sumi

Caroline Ho.

Just saying: I felt sad today that I had to convince myself to climb out of the rut I was in to go to Cell. However, silver lining here; I just took a step towards maturity.

On an ironic side note: I hate getting flaked on.

First I’m all

Then I just wanna

Thinking of: Church Building Pledge, John Mayer’s Free Falling, Peyton Sawyer’s art, bunned up ninnes and Miley Cyrus’ Can’t Be Tamed.