It’s almost 2 in the morning. I’m sick. I have work tomorrow. But I can’t sleep.
Note to self: DO NOT drink tea after 7 PM.
It’s kismet that my voice has left me the day my fingers have a lust for this keyboard. I just want to type. Type and type until my frustrations bleed away. Type until I fill a self-inflicted gap. Type until I find meaning in my own words. Type until I learn from my own da*n mistakes. Type until I find the answers I need to hear to move forward, not the ones I want that keep me placated but wallowed in bad decision-making.
Type, because ignorance has yet to display its bliss to me.
Basically type the stupid out of me.
So I shall blog about my Singapore trip. Fastest trip I’ve ever made to another country. Down and back in less than 16 hours.
Totally worth it.
5 years ago I read a book written by an audacious man whose life’s goal was to expose the “wolves in sheep clothing’s”. But watching Pastor Kong Hee yesterday, I realize I never really saw him until I saw him at home in his own pulpit. Sitting in front of him watching him cast his vision to his congregation members, I wanted that. That irreversible truth of God’s presence. The need, nay, the hunger and desperation to want God in ways more than Aladdin needed a Genie. To breathe in the same rhythm of His heartbeat. Imagine being able to constantly feel the infallible tangible consciousness of His presence. Even in the midst of my stupid. Stupid decisions. Stupid thoughts. Stupid words.
Our human nature is what we’re born into. But the character of God is what we develop.
Rev. Yonggi Cho
I teared up when he said, “I don’t want any enemies. I just want to be a better husband to my wife, a better father to my son. I just want to be a better man.”
Because that’s what I want. I want to be a better person. At least to myself.
For a start.
PLUS++ THE BOX! Can’t wait to read! CHC is too generous.
Thinking of: My voice box that must be extremely annoyed at me, Achmed in my throat, how I’m feeling so useless to this planet I should just vaporize, sausages in The Wrath of the Titans, Hillsongs’ Jesus Be the Centre, how if I had 3 wishes, I’d want one of them to be for every kind of sickness to disappear from the face of the earth, and how next time if I have this itch, I’ll sleep first then scratch it later if it’s still itchy.