Beginning of this year I set a resolution for myself, ‘Take a vow of silence for at least one day’.
At first I wanted to do it because I thought of doing something out of the ordinary. I imagined I would have done it later in the year, like on the 31st of December.
Unfortunately the day came against my will. Contracting an Ursula, I lost my voice last night for the first time in my life.
My last coherent words were, “Can I get you anything else?”
See, a normal woman speaks about 7,000 words a day. I’m pretty sure I cover that by 11 in the morning.
It was like a long, exasperating game of charades, not being able to talk. Unable to get people’s attention unless I walked up to their faces glued to their computers and waved frantically in front of their noses. Going out for lunch and trying to explain what food I wanted was an ordeal for me. Making lunchtime conversation with my colleague who spent 15 minutes deciphering what the he** I was trying to tell her until we decided to just sit quietly and finish our food. Even to say ‘I want to withdraw some money’ took twice as much energy and twice as much time. How difficult it was to even ask, “How was your weekend?” or “Why aren’t you eating with us?”
Here’s what I learnt:
Every word counts. Today I didn’t even bother with small talk or just making conversation because as neither I nor my colleagues are fluent in sign language, I either had to flail around like a goose or type it out in my phone. Both of which made me realize I say a lot of useless things. Being dumb for the day opened my eyes to how careless I was with my words. How I took my words for granted. How from now I want to weigh every word before it slips out of my tongue.
Weirdly enough, words are heavier in my hands than in my mouth.
For a moment, I was gripped by the most disconcerting thought. What if I could never speak again?
I would never be able to sing in church again. Never be able to tell anyone, “I love you.” Never be able to speak in tongues! Never be able to tell jokes or my funny stories. Or share my embarrassing moments. Never be able to tell my boyfriend how happy he makes me. Not in my usual dramatic fashion at least. I would be kicked off the 2012 HGC Production before I could blink for sure. Never be able to do any more Youtube videos. Never be able to debate. NEVER SPEAK TO ANYONE ON THE PHONE AGAIN?! What would be the point of the new Samsung Galaxy if I couldn’t even pick up the friggin’ phone!
Eventually no one would ever remember what my voice sounds like. O_O
My voice is loud, boisterous, and
some say like Minnie Mouse with a slight indian accent in your face but IT’S MINE!
I don’t care even if I have to go the next week without speaking, I am not straining my voice until it’s 100% completely healed.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
James 3: 7-8
I think the saddest thing is if you can talk but no one can hear your voice.
Make Joseph Kony Famous 2012
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Thinking of: My voice, how some people just ask for it, talking less, listening more, my colleague who has excellent taste in music, Kony must go campaign and Lindsay Lohan’s Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.