The Phoenix Effect
In the bible, Jacob was portrayed as a con man. He achieved positions of power through deceitful means. He sold his twin brother out, twice, in the first half of his life and spent the next half running away from him in fear.
Yet it was only after he had an epic face to face encounter with God that his life was completely transformed.
Like a heart attack.
Nobody gets out of their first heart attack walking the same; physically or otherwise. Some psychologists believe a heart attack patient can wake up an upgraded revamped model of their former selves, at least in their mentality.
Jacob’s heart attack moment was when he wrestled with God and would not let Him go until he was blessed. God’s first reply to him was, “What is your name?”
And Jacob had to say it. Say it outloud. Jacob. To mean supplanter. Deceiver. Manipulator. Cheater.
He had to face the nature of his own identity. Yet when he said it, and said it outloud, I believe it wasn’t out of shame but as if daring God to do something about it.
Which He did. God gave him a new walk, a new name, a new identity.
See after that confrontation that gave him his hip displacement, he stood at a physical disadvantage but he also stood at a better position to face his brother because now he wasn’t dependent on his own legs but God’s.
There’s a Jacob in me. Sometimes I do things I’m ashamed of. Sometimes. And people watch my walk.
I rendezvous with my God pretty often. I mean, we don’t skirmish till dawn but I do pray. Why does my walk feel the same even after? Do I need that heart attack encounter?
Ultimately it’s whether I choose to run in fear from my troubles or face it with a limp and win.
I’m a little more ready to chase my obstacle down.
Inspired by Ps Alan Tan
Digression: Was reading through old MSN chats and found some incriminating evidence of more of my stupidity. In retrospect he was right, albeit not completely, it was me who held the gun and pulled the trigger. I really was a mutton when I was younger, Lord Jesus please tell me I’ve changed.
My PSA for today: CHECK YOUR TEETH ANNUALLY and REGISTER TO VOTE!!!! Your opinion counts. And so do your teeth.
Note to self: Find out how to hack and spit out phlegm from throat like a lady. Tired of all these looks of disgust.
Thinking of: Jim Sturgess in One Day, Going the Distance, an a** like the wind, how I’m not going to wait 20 years to get a clue, how I’M SO FRIGGIN’ HUNGRY but it’s so painful to eat, paying RM60 for clean teeth and how I’m FINALLY REGISTERED TO VOTE!!!!