Drowning Mermaids

*Edited 16th July*

I can’t believe it. In 24 hours this will all be over.

What was supposed to be a 4 month Easter play turned out to be a 6 month full-blown production.

I’ve been ignoring this nagging feeling tugging at the strings of my gut. It makes me shudder.

What’s going to happen in 24 hours?

Let alone the fact I’ll prolly have to hit the ground running so I don’t suffer too bad a case of Missing Sun withdrawal syndrome.

What’s going to be the excuse for all the answers I’ll have to give, and all the decisions I’ll have to make when it’s all over?

I’m not ready to grow up yet.

In so many ways.

I have put my entire life on hold, hiding behind this production, so much so I procrastinated even getting my life insurance.

The people around me keep reminding me I’m 24 and it’s getting me agitated. Everyone’s trying to force me into this ideal 24 year old mould.

I KNOW I’m supposed to be settling down. I KNOW this is the age for marriage or at least some form of a long term commitment. I KNOW I should finally get that life insurance. I KNOW I’m supposed to be this serious, at-the-helm-of-the-wheels-of-adulthood taking on all these different responsibilities.

I KNOW!

I just don’t know if I’m ready to give up what this 24 year old mould calls for. Like how I wasn’t ready to get married last year despite me meeting all the requirements of a wife: fertility. I couldn’t. I’m not mature enough to be a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

As long as it isn’t the 15th of July, I’m really enjoying living in this fantasy world. I like laughing and being care-free. I like flying to Neverland on pixie dust fighting pirates and running from crocs.

I want to grow up at my own pace. I don’t want any more regrets. I don’t want to look back one day and wish I had spent life differently.

Thinking about post-production is really putting a cramp on my style -.-

Mrs. Darling: There are many different kinds of bravery. There’s the bravery of thinking of others before one’s self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.

Michael: Where did he put them?

Mrs. Darling: He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer… He does. And that is why he is brave.

Peter Pan

On a side note: MISSING SUN IN 24 HOURS!!!!!!!! See you there!!!!

Thinking of: T-ara(티아라)’s Day by Day, Elvis Presley’s Suspicious Minds, enjoying this rollercoster ride while I’m on it, goofing off less, NO CAPES and MISSING SUN IN 24 HOURS!!!!!!!

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