I can’t believe it! After 6 months! It’s finally over!
I feel… happy. Not happy it’s over, happy it went well. Happy I was supported by so many loving people.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best that it could’ve been.
I was reminded that being in this production was a dream come true, for sure. I never thought I could’ve been a part of something so beautiful.
Interesting fact: When I was younger, I loved playing pretend and I used to pray that God would one day let me be a part of a musical.
Throughout this production, I learned to trust God whole-heartedly. That where I end, He begins. When I stop running ahead of Him, He starts to lead me.
For the first time in 6 months, I was in character; Ootoka finally came to life. I was so far in the zone that Sumi seemed like a foggy distant idea.
It’s hard not to be attached to Missing Sun. I made some of the most amazing friendships through this play. I found love in this play. I found closure through this play. I found out how resilient I was, how far my body could go, how disciplined my mind could be.
I am not going to miss the time it took out of my life and the things I had to give up in order to be fully committed to this play. I’m thoroughly looking forward to filling back my free time.
I think the saddest part for me throughout this play was that I started to lose focus of why I was doing it. Somewhere along the lines, distraction crept up and choked me. Slowly it became more about my performance; did I sing in the right key with the right emotions, did I fight realistically enough, was I Ootoka enough, were my lines properly memorized, was my popping and dancing mind-blowing, was it possible for me to learn to cry on cue, did I have chemistry with my fellow actors, was I thin enough, did I look pretty enough while doing all these things?
I spent most of my time perfecting my part for the play rather than praying for the lives I wanted to see touched.
I spent more time fellowshipping with the cast than with God.
I lost sight of my priorities. When did it all become about showmanship?
I guess then I can’t say I was disappointed that though the turn out crowd was two times bigger than last year, the people I expected to see running to the altar was less than half of last year.
I asked God today, Why so few at the front? Wasn’t everything we sowed into this production enough to change 1000 lives? All the practices, all the props, all the effort! Didn’t I pray and fast enough?!
God asked me back, Isn’t it ALL worth it if even one comes to know Me. Right now, all of Heaven rejoices if even ONE chooses to be Mine.
I know the right answer; Of course every life matters. But. 6 months! We worked SO hard for 6 months! And only a handful made a decision to follow you. If I reap what I sow, then shouldn’t 6 months worth that workload of people be giving their lives? God, we spent 6 months, man. It seems like a lot of work for only one person to come to know You. I guess I expected more. I expected You to move more.
Like a thunder I heard His reply loud in my heart, I am not mocked, a man will reap what he sows. You sowed into Ootoka and into your musical, and reaped an amazing production. Were not people applauding your performance? Weren’t they amazed at how a church of 100 people managed to pull off a musical of this magnitude? If I had 100 sheep and one went astray, I would leave the other 99 to go looking for the one that was lost until I found it. You say 6 months is a lot of work for a handful of salvation? I gave My life at the cross even if in the end only ONE would choose Me. Priorities, Sumi. Priorities.
The veil is lifted. It’s time to get back to reality. It’s finally time to let go.
We’ve found the Sun already.. Get over it & stop trying to make it missing again!
MEGA Thank you’s to:
- My parents for giving birth to me so I could be in Missing Sun and for coming to support me so lovingly and for bringing me such beautiful flowers.
- CHCKL for their hospitality, equipment, love and support throughout this musical.
- Our sponsors for making this play financially and physically possible.
- Reverend Steven Goh for his sharing
- Aaron Chin for his time, effort and ah-may-zeng photographs.
- Backstage, musicians, media, video, audio, lights, mic, make up, costume repair crews and ushers
- Every person who came to support us for Missing Sun.
TO HARVEST GENERATION CHURCH FOR PULLING THIS OFF!!!!
WE DID IT GUYS!!!!
Thinking of: How once again I am so off, Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spiderman, the things mothers do for their kids, Pati’s birthday and HOW dare yew, you DON’T know who you’re MESSING with.