Managing Clouds and Cupcakes

You never know what’s going to upset a cloud. They’re very sensitive.

Winnie the Pooh. Cloud Cloud Go Away.

There’s this episode in Winnie the Pooh where Tigger upsets a cloud. The cloud kept following him for a good 8 minutes.

Every time he said something mean about the cloud, it would first start drizzling on him, then rain, then pour, then followed with thunder and lightning.

It kept following and getting bigger until he apologized to it for hurting its feelings.

When I was younger, people had so much hope for me.

‘”I see you being a great leader one day”, “You’d make an awesome cell leader”, “You’d make a great CEO”…’

When people look at you before you’re somebody, they see the potential of you who can one day be.

Once you reach a place you should’ve achieved that potential, suddenly the bar of performance expectation is raised sky-high.

Before, people saw me as this person who could be a great leader. Once I was given the opportunity to prove myself a leader, suddenly I fell so short so fast.

I think it’s because people place really high expectations based on potential, not character.

My flaws seem to be more outstanding and prominent the more responsibility I take on.

Suddenly my position of authority is questioned when I fail. When I fail at a task, I fail as a leader, not as a person.

The thing is, my flaws and inadequacies have always been there. Just that people allow my potential for greatness to blind them from it. That’s why they believe I can be all that I want to be. But me taking the step to lead exposes me for who I am and now everything stopping me from achieving that potential has a big-as spotlight on it.

So why am I judged at a higher standard when really the only difference is the job tag that says, “Leader”.

I’m judged at a higher standard because now I have clouds following me. Some of them really sensitive.

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. 

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Luke 12:48

I thank God for Mentos that don’t give up on me.

Me: “I’m not good enough to be a leader! I can’t do this! I told you!”

Pastor Ryan: “Well, we can’t just leave you there while the rest of us move on -.- You need to mature on too”

Sigh. Baby steps.

Here’s to being violently shoved into maturity.

On a side note: First short was a success!

It was in that 6 days of minimal food, sleep or social interactions that confirmed I actually had a passion for this thing. This video thing. This editing thing.

Why else would I give up sleep on it?

My actors and crew did such a great job that I HAD to appreciate them. So I bought them cupcakes from the best cupcake-maker in town.

Charlene Anita, I love you.

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Thinking of: Peanut butter, lunch, cute-as beagles, Kung Fu Panda, Chris Wallace’s Remember When and G.R.O.’s.

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