The reality keeps growing.
That I feel overwhelmed. I feel stupid. Useless. Inadequate. Incompetent.
I feel like a complete failure.
A failure in my work. In my finances. In my mind. In my emotions. With my parents. With my God. With men. With friends. Disappointed with myself.
Right now, I feel like a failure in life. I have arrived at that point where I am no longer interested to pursue breathing if it didn’t come so easily.
I hate this feeling. But I want to remember this moment.
Because whatever the reality, the truth is entirely different.
I know because I can admit these things aloud, the fighter in me will refuse to stay this way.
I will not stay overwhelmed.
I will not stay stupid.
I will not continue to be useless, inadequate or incompetent.
I am okay with failing. But I will not stay a failure.
Because of how I get out of this, many will know I am Yours and Yours alone, and that You are the only One who can save me.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.[…]
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.Isaiah 43:1-2, 18-19
On a romantic note: I cried. A little.
On another note: I will have cats and dogs in my house and they shall live in harmony.
Thinking of: Mark Zuckerberg, Vine and how it’s time I learn how to be financially dependent on Him.
