Spit On Me

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I recently wanted to get LASIK for my eyes because the ophthalmologist told me contact lenses were making my eyes dry. But when I went to the clinic I was rejected for the procedure because my corneas were not thick enough. HOWEVER, there is another procedure, ICL, where they insert “corrective lenses” into your eyes. Besides putting the foreign lens in, this procedure is about 4 times more expensive than LASIK. No insurance company will cover it because apparently correcting your eyesight is considered cosmetic surgery. So that option was a no-no as well. These were the 2 safest, low-risk affordable procedures for corrective eye surgery in Malaysia, and I was disqualified for both.

I was so frustrated.

God. Don’t you WANT me to have better vision? Aren’t you always saying I need to be less short-sighted?

What frustrated me more was seeing my friends getting LASIK’s left and right. Some of them even posting up procedures and before/after pictures and I’m squinting at these pictures and blogposts through my prune eyes that now need artificial tears to moisten them while wiping the oil buildup my glasses are causing.

Why did it seem like He has shut the options for me to correct my eyes?

I sat on my bed in defeat a few moments ago as I found out another friend had completed her LASIK.

Then I heard the still small voice remind me about the man whom Jesus heals of blindness from birth.

Jesus answered, “It was not any sin of this man or his parents that caused him to be blind. He was born blind so that he could be used to show what great things God can do

John 9:3

Having believed I am short-sighted and healing has evaded me for now for a greater purpose, I prayed that whether I’m short-sighted or fully recovered, my eyes will be a blessing to someone else.

A few moments later, and I mean, like less than 10 minutes, I hear Pastor Steven Furtick preaching about this very incident in John 9. (I love how God takes me by surprise when I least expect it.)

Why did Jesus spit in the dirt and put the mud on the blind man’s eyes and then send him to wash it in the river? Why didn’t He just say “Be healed” or “Go dip yourself in the water.”?  I mean, it’s spit. You can say it’s holy spit but it’s still spit.

Dirt represents our humanity. Water always represents God’s spirit. The mud, then, is Jesus taking what is human and something that represents the divine to create a miracle that would not only bless this man, but speak to many others for generations to come that if you would bring Him your dirt, He will pour Himself out on it and make a miracle out of your mess.

Being short-sighted means two things; One. I can’t see clearly the path in front of me. Two, I rely completely on Him to walk forward. Even if I stumble, He will immediately pick me up and set my feet on solid ground. He brings my world into focus when I choose to focus on Him.

Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.

Psalms 119:165

Jesus, whether I’m short sighted or healed to 20/20 vision or I get to see like the eagle, I will bless Your name because although I cannot see far, You can. And although I am disqualified by men, I am qualified by You.

Love God’s word because it sets us free from the bondage of insecurities.

Thinking of: How to love the mud.

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