I…don’t have the best history with plant, meaning they usually die in my hands fairly quickly. It didn’t matter what methods I tried, and I wanted to keep them alive, but they chased after the soil more than my affections. I never gave up though, because I like plants, yes, I know, the irony isn’t lost on me. So I keep trying, and my plants started living longer, the last cactus I had lasted a couple of months which was great.
Beginning of last year, I received a chilli plant. And I did everything in my power to protect this plant. I kept it in my room, in the morning I would leave my window open, put out a scarecrow to keep away birds that would peck at it. At night, I kept it in a cool place and watched over it like a hawk. I counted its leaves everyday.
My overprotective heart was challenged when it stagnated, I knew I had to put it outside because it was outgrowing the pot in my room. I really didn’t want to because I was scared of the elements out there but I had no choice. It was a risk I had to take.
It turned out to be the best option because it turns out plants need soil and sun and rain. Who knew? The plant became bushier and although it blossomed late, 3 months more than normal plants, it started budding, and I was so excited that I was about to harvest my own chillies.
A couple of weeks later the chillis were almost ready, for me to get to this point. I really felt that my springtime was finally coming; physically and spiritually. After years of trying to grow anything, fruit was finally about to arrive, the hard work was about to pay off, the harvest was coming. I busied myself with collecting chilli recipes for my first dish.
A few days later, I’m at home, news comes to me that my plant is destroyed. I ran out and saw this.
I don’t know what happened, everything looked like it was burnt, the chillies were gone, the leaves… everything.
In that moment, I really didn’t know what to think, but I understood that some things were just out of my hands. I mean, I know it’s just a plant, but I had invested so much into it. The excitement of harvesting the chillies, the pride I was supposed to have to prove that I could actually grow something, my springtime that was suppose to be here. It was gone and I didn’t know why.
But it was at that moment I remembered the words of Job: The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
The outcome was out of my hands. How am I failing when I’ve had so much practice I’m supposed to be excelling. Why am I still learning what I’m supposed to have conquered by now. Still trying, still failing, still learning. Did I want to give up gardening? Definitely.
But I’m a firm believer that failure is a necessary step before success. We have to be able to lose everything, and start again at the bottom with humility. So never stop trying, be excited to try again, sometimes you’d fail in a small way sometimes you’ll fail spectacularly and everyone gets to see it, but, one day, at just the right time, you’ll reap a harvest if you don’t give up.
Now, excuse me while I get to planting some brinjals 😉
Thinking of: R. Kelly Survivors, shepherds pie and Chris Brown’s Superhuman